Does no one watch TV at 5PM?
I got home from school today and my leg/back problem was really acting up, luckily, more steriod shots tomorrow.
Anyway, with T-Deck at work and school, I had nothing to do but sit around and watch TV. Much to my surprise, there is virtually nothing good on at 5 o'clock (for adults anyway, I imagine the crap on MTV and the Cartoon Network are great for children and the stupid).
There's always Cash Cab, where the titular cab roams the streets of Manhattan picking up unsuspecting contestants. These people, totally unprepared to be on a game show, have to answer questions as they drive toward their destination. For every question they answer correctly, they get money; if they're wrong three times, they're booted onto the mean streets of Manhattan (which isn't so bad but they were probably expecting just a simply, smelly, hot cab ride). I didn't feel like a gameshow so I moved on, even though this might have been the best thing going.
Next, Country Music Television ("The gun-toting yokel's MTV"). I do occasionally have a hankering for the country music, but right now they're showing "Jeff Foxworthy's Big Night Out." More like "Big Night of Suck." Being charitable, this is a bad knock-off of "Hee Haw" - the "Masterpiece Theatre" of southern red-neck culture. I watched until just before my eyes started bleeding.
At this point I'm thinking, "Shit! Nothing's on, what am I supposed to do now?
Keep it together, man . . .
Keep clicking . . .
Suddenly . . .
JACKPOT!
Holy crap, I don't know if you've heard of this show, but check your God-damned local listings, my friends. I came upon "I Pity the Fool." In this fine program none other than MR. T himself gets letters from people and goes out to help families with his sage-like Mr. T advice.
Today's episode featured a husband and father who sat on his ass in a lounge chair all the time instead of being a positive member of his family. Highlights included:
1) Mr. T: "I think breakin' bacon is the first step of unity"
2) Mr. T burns the man's chair so that it can never come between him and his family again.
Bonus: He ends every show with a limerick!
Everyone needs to watch this show. Mr. T is the only man who can return us to a more unified, more loving, more Mr. T-like way of life . . . the man might save the country.
Anyway, with T-Deck at work and school, I had nothing to do but sit around and watch TV. Much to my surprise, there is virtually nothing good on at 5 o'clock (for adults anyway, I imagine the crap on MTV and the Cartoon Network are great for children and the stupid).
There's always Cash Cab, where the titular cab roams the streets of Manhattan picking up unsuspecting contestants. These people, totally unprepared to be on a game show, have to answer questions as they drive toward their destination. For every question they answer correctly, they get money; if they're wrong three times, they're booted onto the mean streets of Manhattan (which isn't so bad but they were probably expecting just a simply, smelly, hot cab ride). I didn't feel like a gameshow so I moved on, even though this might have been the best thing going.
Next, Country Music Television ("The gun-toting yokel's MTV"). I do occasionally have a hankering for the country music, but right now they're showing "Jeff Foxworthy's Big Night Out." More like "Big Night of Suck." Being charitable, this is a bad knock-off of "Hee Haw" - the "Masterpiece Theatre" of southern red-neck culture. I watched until just before my eyes started bleeding.
At this point I'm thinking, "Shit! Nothing's on, what am I supposed to do now?
Keep it together, man . . .
Keep clicking . . .
Suddenly . . .
JACKPOT!
Holy crap, I don't know if you've heard of this show, but check your God-damned local listings, my friends. I came upon "I Pity the Fool." In this fine program none other than MR. T himself gets letters from people and goes out to help families with his sage-like Mr. T advice.
Today's episode featured a husband and father who sat on his ass in a lounge chair all the time instead of being a positive member of his family. Highlights included:
1) Mr. T: "I think breakin' bacon is the first step of unity"
2) Mr. T burns the man's chair so that it can never come between him and his family again.
Bonus: He ends every show with a limerick!
Everyone needs to watch this show. Mr. T is the only man who can return us to a more unified, more loving, more Mr. T-like way of life . . . the man might save the country.
posted by Daniel at 10/25/2006 05:22:00 PM
1 Comments:
Believe me... there's nothing I'd rather see more than Mr. T making the world a better place. Assuming that we, the viewers, can hear what he's saying above the racket of his gold chains clanging. "D-d-do yo chains hang low..."
I should probably mention that we don't buy cable TV. Hell... we don't even have a TV at this point. Looks like I'm SOL. Carry on Mr. T. Carry on.
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