Christmas Quiz

On Jen's blog, she had a quiz about the Holidays. Here, I've reprinted my answer from her comments, for the betterment of everyone.

1. Do you have a real or fake Christmas Tree?
-Fake
2. Do you put up Christmas lights on the exterior of your home?
-No, I want that creepy house on the corner that carolers pass and try to avert their eyes.

3. What's your favorite Christmas song/carol?
-"Where da Hood at?"

4. What do you like better turkey or ham?
-Turkey, I don't dig on swine.

5. Do you open up any Christmas presents on Christmas Eve?
-Yes, it's what Polaks do.

6. Have you ever been Christmas Caroling?
-Yes, and we always got sooo much candy...I remember one year I went as a skeleton, boy was I scary...wait...that may not have been "caroling" in the traditional sense...also, it may not have been Christmas.

7. What was your most memorable Christmas gift(s) that you received?
[Jessica, Ryan's Girlfriend, answered thusly: "Anything that comes from the heart and not out of a wallet. I long for a Christmas without any gifts.")
-I agree with Jess, above...only "wallet" and "heart" should change places in the sentence.

8. What's your favorite Christmas movie?
"Scrooged"...nothing funny here, that's a good movie

9. Have you ever built a real Snow-Man?
-Yes. Honestly, this shouldn't even be a question...I guess in California or Arizona it may be rare, but back East, where Christmas comes from, only losers haven't made snowmen - Josh, back me up on this.

10. Have you ever peeked into a present and found out what it was before Christmas?
-I don't think so, I've just never really been that curious.

11. What is on the top of your Christmas tree?
-God, it's where he lives.

12. Do you own a Santa hat?
-Even better, I own Santa's hat - all those years of freezing my butt off on the roof manning the anti-aircraft guns finally paid off my sophomore year in high school.

13. When was the last time you had your picture taken with Santa Claus?
-See the above...have a pic of me wearing the trophy hat...Santa on the deer scale.
-Also, my dad told me sitting on boys' laps would make me pregnant too.
[Jess's answer: "A Looooong time ago - My Dad always told me that sitting on a guy's lap would get me pregnant so I always felt uncomfortable with Santa! (Now THAT is some good parenting right there!)"]

14. Have you started your Christmas shopping yet?
-Ha, finished biatches! Everybody's getting potatoes...oh, you say that's a crappy gift...wasn't so crappy to all those Irish during the famine, was it?

15. Do you put candy canes on your Christmas Tree?
-If by "candy canes" you mean "lights"...and by "put on" you mean "leave attached"...any by "you" you mean "Tiffany"...then yes.

16. Who is hardest person to buy for?
-Prince - sometimes he's just like his mother, she's never satisfied . . . this is what it sounds like, when doves cry.

17. Who is the easiest person to buy for?
-Odyseus's pseudonym when he blinds the cyclops.

18. How old were you when you realized Santa was imaginary?
We weren't big Santa people...especially after my sophomore year in high school.

19. What does your morning of Christmas routine consist of?
Usually, check the traps for Santa II, get the shovel...you know...then church.

20. Egg nog?
Maybe...vodka nog?

See, now wasn't that hilarious?